Will I be ready? Yes...and no. Today we (finally) got the word that Sean's spinal fusion is scheduled for December 2. So it will be a holly, jolly hospital season this year.
I am so ready for Sean to get this long-awaited surgery. When I told him the surgery date he looked at me and started crying. "I can't wait that long. My body hurts. I can't take it any more." I can't take it any more, either...seeing my angel unable to find any relief from the pain. For that reason, I WILL be ready.
On the other hand, will I ever really be ready? Ready for one more major step in the progression of this disease. Ready for him to experience even more pain and suffering in hopes that it will bring some measure of relief to him after he heals.
Bitter tears fall as I think of his precious childhood spent knowing too much of pain.
Grateful tears fall as I attempt to comprehend how I could be so blessed to be his mother. To have his sunshine fill my every day. To know true strength of character. True courage.